don’t postpone joy.

One of my dear friends introduced me to astrobarry. That friend is also a writer on this blog, and I know she’ll be down w/ seeing astrobarry get some love from us.
This week, part of my horoscope says but erring too far on the side of restraint, at the cost of even moderate amounts of pleasure-seeking possibilities, leaves a long expanse of waiting to live your life until one far-in-the-future day when logic finally permits a moment’s joy—a day which may never come.

Oh astrobarry, how are you inside my head? Are you just that good?

You see, I’m that person who lives in the future in such a way that I miss out on good stuff in the present. See, my economic choices aren’t the only nervous, protected side of my personality–generally, I live life with the excuse that I’ll Do It Later. Lately, I’ve started doing things now–for instance, I quit smoking about 8 weeks ago, and that’s brought me a lot of joy right now, both emotionally, physically, and economically. I have saved over $400, and feel good emotionally and physically. But when it comes to dating? I’ll do it later.

How can I stop postponing joy while still respecting the boundaries of others? What does Rob Brezny have to say about it?

“Hey Rob: I was having trouble finishing my novel — typical writer’s block. So I sidetracked myself into making silly creative projects — papier-mache chickens, masks made out of junk mail, collages incorporating bottle caps and dryer lint. I can’t say any of it is ‘art,’ but I feel creative again and my house is full of colorful stuff I whipped up myself. If you wait to be perfect, I concluded, you’ll never make anything. I tried something I knew I’d be bad at, so failure didn’t matter. Now I’m branching out with my inadequacy — not waiting for Mr. Perfect but having a beer with Joe Flawed, forgetting to be right all the time, admitting that I haven’t a clue. I’ve become smilingly, brilliantly dumb. -Inappropriate Virgo.” Dear Inappropriate: Congrats! You’re doing exactly what I want to advise all Virgos everywhere to try.

Do I want to become smilingly, brilliantly dumb? Sort of. I think that might be really amazing for a little while. Admitting that I don’t have a clue is totally the first step for me manifesting my liberation in my life– not just when it comes to dating, but also when it comes to making decisions. Do I want to stay in my current job, do I want to move back east, do I want to apply to PhD programs? At different moments, the answer to each of those questions is yes.

Failure doesn’t matter…at least to me, right now, when I am honest with myself and the universe. I have so much to learn. All I can do is ask people honestly to help me learn.  By stating clearly what I want and need, I am respecting myself and respecting the boundaries of others.
If you want to know, ask.  If you want to do, ask.  Remember– if nothing else, you might make someone’s day by telling them how awesome you think they are.

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